Emotions

I will quite happily admit (and Ryan will quite happily testify)to the fact that even before pregnancy I would be one to cry pretty easily. Plant me in front of a touching movie and I'll quietly hide the tears and try to cover up the quivering lip.

Pregnancy does seem to make this 'condition' even worse though. I haven't quite got to the point where adverts on t.v are making me cry but I am crying easily. Maybe the most pathetic is still to come!

I have found 'Baby Zone' on televsion. Care of cable I can watch three hours of baby programs one after the other! They follow women through the final stages of pregnancy and childbirth. Anyway the other day I burst into tears as I watched a father cry himself as he held his child for the first time. The emotion from such an event just oozes in goodness and joy and we can't wait to experience it. I think I will cry and if it's not from pain it will be from the shear joy, wonder and awe of putting a face to the name; of seeing the legs - no matter how long and skinny they are - that have been kicking me. I can't wait to have that baby smell filling the house - the nice ones!

Other than that I think I've been fairly mentally stable throughout. Ryan would describe me as 'Mostly stable'. I'm happy with that. I've had the usual bouts of irritability but then everyone has those every now and then. I did get a bit owrried the other day about what type of person I'm going to turn into during labour. On one of the forementioned programs I watch a wife snap at her husband for doing his best to sooth her with a cool flannel on her forehead. I don't want to turn into a horrible person in what should be the most incredible experience of ones life. When the male must feel so hopeless as it is it just doesn't seem fair to get snappy and horrible like that. I can but try. Ryan can report later on how it all goes.

So that's it on emotions. For good measure there is the odd bout of homesickness that still likes to show it's face but that hits both of us. Somedays we're ready to just buy a ticket and wing our way back to Aotearoa but that is just not going to happen at this point. Besides just as the midwife talked about how contractions are a series of peaks and troughs so are those grey feelings of homesickness and they pass.